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A Peculiar Thirst ; October 13, 2008

Mood: contemplative
Listening to: Hillsong United
Reading: Out of the Silent Planet

It's fall break. I've been spoiled by this lovely, school-free week, ever since I came to my school in 4th grade. With the empty days comes time to simply relax a bit. Yes, it is the middle of the October of my senior year, which means I am approaching the days when I will have to make important decisions about my life after high school. But this weekend I've been able to enjoy moments of rest.

However, I've been noticing something strange.

Whenever I have free time like this, there are certain things I particularly enjoy doing. For example: I wrote a song and have been working on it in GarageBand. I made some progress in outlining one of my novels. I'm working on catching up in my scrapbook/diary.

But I feel that all of these little pleasures are sort of distracting me from what is most important. I feel exactly like C.S. Lewis in Surprised By Joy, when he described the sensation of Joy. He was drawn to studying mythology because it gave him a feeling of desire for something faraway and unattainable. In the same way, my own little endeavors of artistic creations...like writing, composing music, and scrapbooking...produce a feeling of being close to God through being a co-creator with The Creator. But this sense is only an imitation of knowing God deeply, the highest joy. Lewis said, "I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for Joy."

My prayer and reason for living is to know God, and "become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13.) There is this thirst within my heart, to know Christ more when I go to bed every day than I did when I woke up. So it seems that my other harmless pleasures—with which I can pretend to seek God—are merely distractions from praying and studying His Word.

I apologize if this post was rather wandering or vague. I suppose my proposition here is that the only way to true Joy is to take joy in God alone, to make the Word of God my contemplation, my meditation, my object of desire.

11:21 PM  |  

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Comments (1)

Anonymous Sherry wrote:

This is very thought-provoking. I'm glad your heart is for God--and knowing Him--first and foremost. And I'm glad that you are producing the good works He created you to do. I hope that you find pleasure and peace in the co-creating and deep abiding JOY in the knowing. :) I also am so amazed and thrilled how you know the difference between the two and that you're most passionate to intimately know the HEART of the Creator, rather than just being satisfied with knowing ABOUT Him through His creations. :)

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